The Monster Raving Looney Party

First of all, i won that race. Whoopdedo. That was good. Second of all, my PC's hard drive decided to crash last night, probably losing me all my coursework (which i don't need anyways), and over 24 hours of music. Now i'm spending my time 'reacquiring' that music.

Anyways, with all this election crap going on, i thought i'd share the manifesto of The Monster Raving Looney Party. By the way, why on earth is it called 'manifesto'?? It's such an annoying name for it. To me, that word resembles closely to 'shambles' for some reason. Like it tells me that a politcal party are putting together some big piece of shambly crap to tell everyone about. Why not just call it "The Plan"??

Enough of that. For those who don't know, the Monster Raving Looney Party are an official political party, who are standing for the elections in May. They are such a great Party too. Here's some of the best of what their 'manifesto' for this election includes:

• Income Tax will be abolished. Some of the left over money will be used to block up the French end of the channel tunnel without telling them. The rest will be placed on a horse at the 3.30 race at Haydock Park.
  

• A 99p coin will be issued to save on change. Britain will not join the Euro, instead Britain will invite all european countries to join the Pound.

• Any cabinet minister caught telling lies will be shot across the channel in a 'high velocity' circus cannon, put at the right trejectory by expert British engineers.

• Bright pupils will be provided with dimmer switches so that they don't distract the rest of the class.

• Any pupil who constantly uses Americanisms will be made to go and stay with George Bush for a week, in order to put them off using any further Americanisms.

• The House of Lords will be replaced with the House of Cards, in order to make the government easier to deal with.

• Four wheel drive vehicles will only allowed to be drive off road, therefore preventing rich parents clogging up school streets as they drive 100m from the house to pick up their offspring.

• Any kerbs that are caught crawling will be arrested and the council will be fined £100.000.

• The party originally had the idea of keeping pubs open for 24 hours, but since other political parties have stolen that, they've had a new idea. The Monster Raving Looney Party now thinks that 24 hour drinking isn't enough, so they propose to make the length of a day 32 hours so that the pubs can be open even longer.

• Half the grey squirrel population will be painted red, in order to increase the red squirrel population.

• All fast food will be clearly labelled: "May contain traces of real food".

• All footballers will be made to wear slippers to make the game more interesting

That's all i'm doing now, but i rekon you should all go see for yourself. Go to www.omrlp.com to find out more about them, and read more of their manifesto, which has so much more good stuff in that. Above isn't even half of it.

And another thing, these people do actually get voted for. Which is quality.